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Thursday, December 21, 2006

I just can't get enough of the internet cliches. They make me laugh like I am ten years old.
posted by Philbob on 9:40 AM

For those of you who like my artisticness: here is a taste.
posted by Philbob on 9:37 AM

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Those of you that read blogs will be shocked to see my posting. Those of you who found this blog looking for "anorexic sex" should be ashamed but then again, I just made it worse.

I am posting to publicize the expansion of a Bad Guy name officially. Dr. Tesla Atomicus will heretofore be known as Dr. Tesla Bachelier Atomicus-Farnsworth in all but casual conversation. To find out what the extra names and surnames are for, I suggest the excellent repository of knowledge : Wikipedia.

Thanks, internet.
posted by Philbob on 12:25 PM

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Hey, internet.

I just wanted to say that although I try not to judge the books that I sell on the internet, and I am not necessarily judging Blade Double: L.A. Strike/Dead Zone Strike by David Robbins, the blurb on the back tempts me to judge.

Let me share, and italicize that which I find judgeable.
“Global nuclear war had left the earth a stinking cesspool, polluted by radioactive fallout and poisoned by chemical toxins. Mutations abounded. Barbarians reigned. Against them all fought the Freedom Force, civilization’s last hope for survival. And when Los Angeles fell victim to a mindless incursion of savages, it was up to the Force to lift the siege. Matching violence with superviolence and death with megadeth, Blade and his comrades blew into to the City of Angels like devils out of Hell – and LA would never be the same.

Now, there is plenty in the non-italicized part to judge such as starting a sentence with And. The superviolence and megadeth that the good guys hand out is part one of my objection, but that last bit just kills me. “LA would never be the same”? I should think that the global thermonuclear war would have taken care of that, but apparently Blade can make it just a bit more ruined and explody.

Ok. Thanks.
And by the way, if you want to buy this book I am probably selling it for less than a buck. Unless it is rare, collectible, and popular, in which case I take the preceding criticism back.
posted by Philbob on 12:15 PM

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I believe in America as much as I believe in Pie.
posted by Philbob on 10:32 AM

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

This is a picture that I drew.

In MS Paint.
posted by Philbob on 2:03 PM

Monday, November 07, 2005

McDonald's has a new commercial with a crazy lady at home eatinng one of their new McGriddle's and explaining her auditory and visual hallucinations to an invisible audience. Most people would think that this is a stupid commercial, since they would not write a commercial for their product that had a crazy hero. They would pick cool and attractive actors to eat or drink or sit on their product so that average slobs like me would associate cool attractiveness with their soft drink, burger joint, or car. However, I have been to a fast food establishment in the early morning and know something that McDonald's knows also. They are all full of crazies at that time of day. McDonald's is making a commercial that not only appeals to their core breakfast consumer (crazies), they are airing a commercial that tells those crazies to go home! McDonald's once again proves its marketing genius.
posted by Philbob on 7:43 PM

I love when people use sports metaphors. Because the only sports metaphors that people really use are baseball ones. No one in my generation thinks that baseball is anything to be excited about but we still use the most exciting game of the nineteenth century to describe the twenty-first. A few years ago, we even passed laws that made sense only because of baseball. Three strikes and you're out! Of course, if it works for schoolchildren and millionaires, it must work for felons, too! What made me think of this linguistic oddity is Wayne Larivee (the voice of the Green Bay Packers) who was just defending Brett Favre's recent performance. He was explaining that Brett has no one to run or catch for him; that if he had Ahman Green "especially back when Green was a home-run hitter," his performance would be better. Describing one sport with the language of another, now that's comedy.
posted by Philbob on 8:37 AM

Friday, November 04, 2005

So I just got some junk mail recently about male enhancement pills. The sender was listed as SIZEDO ESMATTER, which seems like a name to me. I imagine that someone with this name would be a proprietor of a medium sized Mexican eatery. He would greet you at the door and say "Bienvenito to Esmatter's!" and he would be shorter than you, dark complexioned, and very cheerful and energetic. If you ate there all the time you could call him Sizedo and he would give you free desserts. Maybe ESMATTER is not a realistic Mexican surname but that is the person who popped into my head fully formed.
posted by Philbob on 10:55 AM